On Eye doctors and Charlie Sheen

30 03 2011

Eye Doctors:

I went to the eye doctor yesterday.  I felt like a hypochondriac with all the troubles I had to share with him. 

First – crazy allergy eyes!  Itchy and watery.  HATE IT.  Turns out, I did have some irritation and some swelling on the cornea of my right eye.  He said that could be allergies, but it also might not be.  He did give me some eye drops and they really did seem to help this morning. 

Second – my left eye twitches somethin’ awful!   It’s been driving me absolutely batty the last couple of weeks.   After my exam was all said and done, I learned the my left eye had actually improved.  The reason for the twitching was strain caused by looking through too strong a lens.  I didn’t know that was possible.  That was about the only good news to come from the appointment, though.

Finally: darkness surrounds me in the dark!  That makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it?  This is what really happens – Occasionally when I am going to sleep, if I open my eyes, I cannot see hardly a thing out of my right eye.  It’s like looking through really dark sunglasses.  I can see more light around the peripheral than in the center.  So, I tell the eye doc this and he said he’s never heard of it before.  He does a really thorough eye check and there’s nothing wrong.  My eye is perfectly healthy.  I guess there’s nothing that can be done about it unless it gets worse. 

The worst news of all: my eye dr. is not in my insurance network.  Wish I would have known that!!  Appointment alone: $117.  Contacts for one year: $180.  Knowing Charlie Sheen still thinks he’s winning even when he’s not: priceless.

Charlie Sheen:

I seriously cannot get enough of him right now. You know what they say: one person’s mental breakdown is another person’s sanity sustainer. 

This is Charlie Winning - for real

 But really, who is encouraging this megalomania behaviour (besides, like, you know, me and every other american just waiting for his next ridiculous interview)?  It’s even more entertaining than when Tom Cruise derailed the Scientology train a few years back.  At least we could kinda, sorta, if we really stretched our imaginations, blame Tom’s insanity on zeal for his beliefs.  But come on, Charlie.  The best you’ve got is some sort of goddess-worship (basically the beginnings of the Sheen cult) and a ridiculous claim at having tiger’s blood.  Let me tell you something about tigers, Charlie:

1. They are great swimmers
2. They can walk on their toes
3. They have retractable claws
4. They are not easy to catch
5. They are human hunters

….I guess this pretty much does describe you.

Maybe someday, I’ll post something of substance again, but for now this will have to do.  I’m enjoying being funny right now.

Today In History:

I’m starting this new section to my blog, just for miss Alicia Henson!

1974: John Denver has his first #1 hit with “Sunshine On My Shoulders.”  

He has sunshine and a frog on his shoulder

Congratulations, John. I wasn’t alive to tell you that in 1974.

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3 responses

30 03 2011
Alicia

You have hypochondriatic eye. Remember how you swore that you KNEW your contact slid behind your eye and was stuck there for 2 years?? I do. I remember. 🙂

Creeper puppet frog.

31 03 2011
mom

Well of all y’all I can actually remember Sunshine on My Shoulder being released by the late great John Denver! I had it on 8 track…yes this was a real phenomonon…it was an amazing time to be a teenager. Even without using drugs!!! Rock on John!

31 03 2011
jillnelson

Alicia, there was also a woodchip! Yes, creeper puppet frog indeed!

Mom, what’ an 8 track?? lol

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